Can’t find time to make love? Place a priority on intimacy.
We get it. Life gets busy—especially if you are raising kids, take care of aging parents, have a demanding career or travel a lot. During life’s busy, exhausting times, it’s also easy to take our partners for granted and put intimacy on the back burner.
Unfortunately, getting OUT of the habit of having sex can lead to a non-existent sex life and threaten your relationship over the long-term. How can you get back on track? To keep the spark alive in your bedroom, lifestyle guru Tony Robbins says, “You must refocus and recommit if you want to learn how to bring the spark back in a relationship.”
Hoping things will change isn’t good enough. You must decide to make time and take steps to maintain or reignite those flames of passion.
Five ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship
1). Communicate. If you want to keep things steamy in the boudoir, Robbins says, “Good communication is a must.” This doesn’t include chats about your kid’s grades. Instead, it’s regular, thoughtful communication about each other’s desires and your plans for the future. Robbins also describes it as “sharing a real, emotional connection with your loved one and seeing things from their point of view.”
2). Identify your love language. In his book “The 5 Love Languages—The Secret to Love That Lasts,” Gary Chapman describes the love languages and explains how different people prioritize the importance of the languages differently. The languages include:
· Words of affirmation.
· Acts of service.
· Receiving gifts.
· Quality time.
· Physical touch.
For example, your partner’s top love language may be physical touch while receiving gifts may be yours. Figuring out what each of you values most (you can take the quiz on Chapman’s website) and finding ways to “speak” your partner’s language can bring you closer together.
3). Embrace the power of touch. Do you and your partner feel like two ships passing in the night … at a distance? Reach out and touch each other more often! In a recent article in Psychology Today, psychiatrist Abigail Brenner, MD says, “Obviously, this can be sexual, but doesn’t have to be necessarily. Kissing your partner ‘hello,’ smiling and making eye contact, holding hands, anything that engages any and all of your senses and lets your partner know that you’re fully present for them signals that you’re ‘here’ with them.” Unplugging from electronic devices when you’re together can help, too.
4). Be curious together. As the years pass, habits set in and relationships can grow stale. To add a little excitement to your life—in public and private—commit to learning a new hobby, vacationing somewhere you’ve never visited before, enjoying the great outdoors together, dining out some place special, taking a cooking class, etc. “To keep the spark alive, you have to be willing to stretch yourselves both individually and as a couple,” explains Robbins.
5). Be giving and express gratitude! Taking time to do something special and show genuine appreciation for your partner can help reinforce your connection and intimacy. These acts, when done authentically, impress on your partner how important they are to you, which helps them feel valued and loved.
Could lifestyle or health issues be to blame for lack of intimacy and sexual dysfunction?
Start by making healthier lifestyle choices
According to an Australian study of men ages 18 to 55 years, “Sexual difficulties are common among men of all ages and increasingly more prevalent as men grow older. They are strongly associated with both health and lifestyle factors.” The researchers found the lifestyle factors associated with sexual difficulties in men of all ages included smoking, drinking alcohol excessively or drug use in the previous 12 months.
Research in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, also suggests that women with sexual dysfunction, specifically low libido, may benefit from making healthier lifestyle choices.
As author Nicola Finley, MD explains, “Low libido is the most common female sexual dysfunction. There are multiple causes of low libido that may be physical, cultural, emotional, medical, psychological or due to her relationship with her partner. A healthy lifestyle is one way to help women overcome low libido and a few examples include exercise, mindfulness and yoga. Ultimately, these lifestyle approaches can enhance sexual satisfaction.”
Hormone imbalance can also contribute to sexual dysfunction and lack of intimacy
Hormone imbalance occurs for a number of reasons, including aging, stress, medication, poor nutrition, certain health problems, environmental factors and more. That’s why it’s important to meet with your healthcare practitioner to get to the root of the problem. Once diagnosed, your practitioner may prescribe hormone replacement therapy.
We typically find that bio-identical hormone replacement therapy with pellets provides superior results compared to modalities that use synthetic hormones. With pellet therapy, the treatment utilizes tiny pellets derived from natural, plant sources, which the practitioner inserts into the fatty layer underneath the skin.
Natural pellets offer other benefits over synthetic hormone treatments, too. Depending on the patient’s needs, pellets are inserted only two or three time per year, so you’re not dealing with daily pills or messy creams. In addition, the pellets release hormones into the body based on cardiac output due physical activity or stress level—right when your body needs them. That also means you can avoid the rollercoaster of emotions people often experience with synthetic hormones.
PRP therapy and laser vaginal rejuvenation may also alleviate sexual dysfunction
Many men and women lose the desire to have sex because their sexual organs have aged, too. Sex just isn’t as fun as it used to be. Fortunately, many advanced treatments that support rejuvenation of the penis and vagina are available today.
Platelet-rich plasma (PRP) derived from the patient’s own blood contains growth and healing factors that stimulate healing and rejuvenation. With PRP intimate wellness therapy, the practitioner injects PRP into the sexual organs, which supports the growth of new blood vessels and enhances circulation.
PRP intimate wellness therapy for women has been shown to alleviate urinary incontinence and restore a woman’s orgasm system (stronger and more frequent orgasms). Female patients also report improvements in the appearance of the vulva, tightening of the vagina, increased libido and reduction in pain during intercourse, among other benefits.
At Western Wellness, we also offer customized vaginal rejuvenation therapy using different forms of advanced laser technology to help restore vaginal health. Vaginal laser treatments trigger collagen production, which stimulates the growth of healthy, new vaginal tissue. Benefits may include relief of vaginal discomfort, dryness, laxity and incontinence, as well as enhanced vaginal sensation during sex. Ask your practitioner for details.
Want to get your sex life back into the HOT zone?
Schedule an appointment with Dr. Garby at Western Wellness. We specialize in bio-identical hormone replacement pellet therapy and offer other treatments to support sexual health.